"A course designed for my specific needs"Politness, greetings and major cultural differences : kiss, don't hug !!
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1. Saying hi, good bye, see you later.
Click below to listen to the audio
Bonjour: good morning, hi. More polite if used with a title or a name Monsieur, Madame, Pierre...
Bonsoir: good evening, when you arrive somewhere past 7 PM, NOT to say have a good evening when you leave. More polite if used with a title or a name Monsieur, Madame, Pierre...
Salut: hey. Very informal, never to be used with someone you don't know personnally. Can be used when you arrive or when you leave.
Coucou: hey. Extremely informal, and used only by some (me in particular :-) with close friend and family. Only when you arrive, and often on the phone "coucou, c'est Camille !".
Bye, ciao, adios... and other foreign words are also used by the younger croud in a smart fashionable way.
Monsieur : mister, sir. Not as formal as in English. In writing, abbreviated as M. Note that the pronunciation doesn't match the spelling, it sounds like "Meussieu".
Messieurs : sirs. Plural of Monsieur.
Madame : lady. Not as formal as in English. In writing, abbreviated as Mme. Use with any woman over... 25-30.
Mesdames : ladies. Plural of Madame.
Mademoiselle : miss. Not as formal as in English. In writing, abbreviated as Mlle. Note that you do not pronounce the first e !
Mesdemoiselles : plural of Mademoiselle.
When talking to several people, as asking directions to a group of persons, just say "bonjour". When talking to one person only, as in when buying some bread in a bakery, say "bonjour Monsieur/ madame/ mademoiselle", this is much more polite. When you know the name of the person you are greeting, it's also polite to include it "bonsoir Madame Dupont", "Salut Pierre". Note, do not include the first and last name, choose between depending whether you are on a first name basis with this person or not.
In a formal environment, like new business associates, when greeting a group, you could say "bonjour messieurs, mesdames, mesdemoiselles" - a lot of politicians do that when starting a speech on TV :-)
In a food store, the storekeeper will often greet a couple by saying "bonjour M'ssieu Dame". It's very common but not very educated (sorry to sound so snobby....)
À plus (tard): see you later, probably sooner than later. The shorter version "à plus" (pronounce the s) is very fashionable now among young people.
À bientôt: see you soon. But really, I don't know when...
À tout à l'heure: see you later TODAY. I'm leaving shoping and will be back in 2 hours... Note the strong liaison " a too ta leur"
À demain, à lundi, à la semaine prochaine: see you tomorrow, Monday, next week... use à in front of a notion of time and it means see you then.
Bonne journée, bonne soirée, bon weekend: have a good day, a good evening, a good weekend.
Bonne nuit: sleep well. Watch out, that does not mean have a good evening !
Au revoir ; good bye, bye. Pronounce “or voir”
2 - Meeting someone ; Introducing yourself and asking for someone's name.
Click below to listen to the audio
Je m'appelle Camille Chevalier. My name is Camille Chevalier. When saying your name, you should say it slowly, if possible with a bit of a French pronunciation to make it easier to understand and remember.
Et vous ? et toi ?: what's your name ? since you just said your name, you don't need to ask "what is your name" it's pretty obvious...
Comment vous appelez-vous ? What's your name ? using vous. Note the pronunciation "Coman voo zaplay voo"
Comment t'appelles-tu ? What's your name ? using tu. Note the pronunciation "Coman tapel tu"
Enchanté(e) : nice meeting you. Add an extra e if you are a girl speaking, but it's pronounced the same way. This comes from:
Je suis enchanté de faire votre connaissance. Nice making your acquaintance. More formal.
Ravi(e) : delighted. Add an extra e if you are a girl speaking, but it's pronounced the same way. This comes from: Je suis ravi de faire votre connaissance
Je vous présente : let me introduce you to... using vous.
Je te présente : let me introduce you to... using tu.
You usually introduce a man TO a woman, a kid to an adult, a lower employee to the boss.
- Monsieur Dupont, je vous présente mon jeune fils Paul.
- Bonjour Monsieur.
- Enchanté Paul.
Dialogue: you are at the cafeteria of your school. You meet another student.
- Bonjour, je m'appelle Camille, et vous ?
- Bonjour, je m'appelle Jean-François.
- Excusez moi, comment vous appelez -vous ?
- Jean-François.
- Enchantée Jean-François.
- Enchanté Camille.
Dialogue. Mr Dupont introduces Mrs Durand to Mr Lemoine, in a big retail store where they all work.
- Bonjour Monsieur Lemoine.
- Bonjour Monsieur Dupont. Bonjour Madame.
- Bonjour Monsieur.
- Madame Durand est notre nouvelle vendeuse. Madame Durand, je vous présente Monsieur Lemoine, notre responsable du stock.
- Ravi de faire votre connaissance, Madame Durand.
- Moi aussi, Monsieur Lemoine.
3. How are you ; more complicated than it seems.
Click below to listen to the audio
Before reading this, you should understand the difference between tu and vous. It is VERY complex, much more than just formal and informal.
Now, French people ask "how are you" only to people they are acquainted to. Not to a random cashier in a supermarket, as it's done in the US.
---If you are using vous---
Comment allez-vous ? How are you? Note the strong liaison "coman Tallay voo"
Je vais bien, merci, et vous ? I'm well, thanks, and you. Don't forget to thanks and send the question right back. This is absolutely expected if you don't want to appear rude.
Dialogue: You are walking down the street and meet the realtor that rented you your appartment.
- Bonjour Madame Dupont.
- Bonjour Madame, comment allez-vous ?
- Je vais bien, merci, et vous ?
- Je vais bien merci. Bonne journée.
- Vous aussi. Au revoir Madame.
- Au revoir Madame.
---If you are using tu--- in a more formal environement
Comment vas-tu ? How are you ?
Je vais bien, merci, et toi ? I'm well, thanks, and you. Don't forget to thanks and send the question right back. This is absolutely expected if you don't want to appear rude.
Note that if you were talking to more than one person you'd say "je vais bien, merci, et vous" (plural).
Dialogue : you meet up with a new friend at a restaurant for dinner.
- Bonsoir Anne.
- Ah, bonsoir Camille, comment vas-tu ?
- Je vais bien, merci, et toi ?
- Je vais bien, merci.
---If you are using tu--- in an informal situation
but with people you see regularly, whether you are using tu or vous with the person, you can also use ça va.
Comment ça va ? -or just- ça va ? Are you OK ?
Ça va, merci, et toi/et vous ? I'm fine, and you ?
Ça va bien, merci. Fine, thanks.
Dialogue : Madame Durand greets her cleaning lady, madame Lemoine.
- Bonjour Madame Lemoine, ça va ?
- Ça va bien, merci, et vous.
- Ça va bien, merci.
Dialogue : Sophie meets her friends Anne and Delphine in front of their school.
- Salut ! Ça va ?
- Ça va, et toi ?
- Ça va.
More remarks
You can change the adverbs to modify your answers : the words you choose will send cues to your interlocutor.
je vais/ça va bien : I'm fine.
je vais/ça va très bien : I'm doing great.
je vais/ça va assez bien/pas mal: I'm OK (but really something is troubling me a bit, but you don't have to ask me about it).
je vais/ça va comme-ci, comme-ça : I'm not too good (and really, I would like you to ask me why :-) typical follow up would be "Ah bon? Pourquoi ?" really ? why ?
je vais/ça va mal: I'm not well. If you say that, you are expected to explain why right away. And it is pretty dramatic. "Je vais mal. Je suis malade" I'm not well. I'm sick.
And you don't always have to use je vais/ça va, you can also answer using only the adverb.
- comment ça va ? / comment vas-tu ?
- bien merci, et toi ?
- pas mal, merci.
Note that the verb used for all these greetings is the verb "aller", to go.
Je vais, tu vas, elle/il/on va, nous allons, vous allez, ils vont.
- Comment vont vos enfants ? How are your children ?
- Ils vont bien, merci.
- Comment allez-vous ?
- Nous allons bien, merci.
These questions apply to people and things.
- Comment va votre travail ? How is your work ?
- Ça va très bien, merci.
The French usually greet their friends with a first round of quick "ça va", just to check that everybody is OK. Then, as they seat down, they ask the question again, this time more as an "what's going on in your life" kind of question. It is then OK to speak more about yourself.
Dialogue : Pierre arrives at his friend Henri's house.
- Salut Pierre !
- Salut Henri, ça va ?
- Bien, et toi ?
- ça va, merci.
(Pierre walks inside and they have a seat).
- Alors, comment ça va ?
- Bien, bien, merci. Sophie et moi revenons de Boston. C'était super..... (talks about the trip).... et toi ? Comment vas-tu ?
- oh, moi, ça va bien aussi : je vais enfin partir en vacances la semaine prochaine.....
In an informal setting, you can also use the expression "quoi de neuf?" : what's new ? Note the pronunciation "Koad neuf "
A typical answer is "rien de spécial" : nothing much :-)
4. More expressions of politness.
Click below to listen to the audio
Pay close attention to the glided pronunciation of these very common words.
S'il vous plaît : please, when asking for something, using vous. Sometimes pronounced "zvooplay" but it's not very elegant, don't use it.
S'il te plaît : please, when asking for something, using tu. Note the commonly used fast pronunciation "steuplay", so frequent that you may use it.
Merci : thanks. Whatch out for pronunciation ; it's "may", NOT "mur" of mercy.
Merci beaucoup : thanks a lot.
Merci mille fois : a thousand thanks.
Je vous remercie pour.... ce délicieux dîner: I thank you for... this delicious dinner. - more formal.
Je vous en prie : you are welcome. Glide the je and vous together, and make a strong liaison "shvoo zan pree"
Je t'en prie : your are welcome (using tu). Note the pronunciation "shtan pree"
It's better not to use de rien. Although very common, it is a bit less educated, and may be frown upon in certain social classes.
Note that je vous en prie and je t'en prie are also use to allow someone to do something:
Est-ce que je peux téléphoner ? May I use the phone ?
Bien sur, je t'en prie. Of course, go ahead.
Il n'y a pas de quoi : don't mention it. Note the pronunciation "ya pad quoa".
Après vous/toi : after you. Used when you want to let someone go first (at a door) or oder first.
À vos souhaits, à tes souhaits ; bless you, after someone sneezes, using vous and tu.
Excusez-moi, excuse-moi : excuse me, to attrack someone attention, using vous and tu.
Also please accept my appologies, using vous and tu.
Je suis désolé(e) : I am sorry. In writting, add another e if said by a woman, but it's the same pronunciation.
answer these, we say "Je vous/t'en prie".
dialogue. In the street of Paris, asking for direction.
- Excusez moi Madame.
- Oui ?
- Je cherche la poste.
- la poste ? Bien sur. C'est tout à côté. Vous, vous.... atchoum ! (sneezes)
- À vos souhaits !
- Merci, excusez-moi !
- Je vous en prie.
- Donc, pour la poste, vous continuez tout droit, et puis après la boulangerie, vous tournez à gauche, et après le feu, à droite.
- Je suis désolé, mais après la boulangerie, c'est à gauche ou à droite?
- À droite.
- D'accord. Merci beaucoup Madame.
- Mais il n'y a pas de quoi. Au revoir.
- Au revoir Madame.
5. The moves ; kiss, don't hug !!
When greeting each others, French people shake hands, or kiss. They don't hug, and would be embarrassed if you did since they wouldn't know what you meant or how to position their body; see, a hug is a very intimate gestiure in France. Only lovers, and sometimes a family member in special occasions (like getting together after a long time, a wedding, or death in the family) would hug, and then, it's merely a pat in the back. Nothing like the long and strong hugs friends exchange in the US. Nothing like a comfort hug either ; my sister Delphine saw me hug my good friend Denise after she had a rough day, and she looked at us with round eyes and then told me "what was THAT ???" !!!
So, forget about hugging, and welcome kissing :-) This, we do a lot, on the cheek (never on the mouth, even inside the family, except maybe with very young children), seldom once, twice in Paris, and 3 to 4 kisses in the South of France ! These are very much air kisses, the mouth does not really touch the other person's cheek, it more a fast, cheek to cheek kisses blown in the air.
Who kisses ? Women, often men and women, seldom men with men, except for family member. It's also a question of social class ; the higher up, the less kissing, specially men to men, and of age, the older the less kissing, specially men to men.
Kissing in the office ? But of course :-) Again, mostly among women, and of course, only with your office "friends".
How often ? Well, a kiss would accompany any "bonjour" and "au revoir" with close friends. You kiss in the morning when you arrive, and kiss in the evening before you leave (or go to bed).
Some situations where YOU could get kissed :
- if you have relatives in France, and go to a reunion, family member you don't know may kiss you "hello".
-
whenever meeting friends of friends in a relaxed environment.
-
most likely at a party, or even in a club, after you befriend some people.
So who do you shake hands with ? People that are not your "pals", but that you are being formally introduced to. Like the parents of a friend. Or anybody in a more formal setting. Or someone with who you are going to have a business relation, like a the realtor who is going to show you a couple of houses to rent. Not at the bakery , unless you are going to hire them for a special occasion.
Note : teenagers seldom shake hands or kiss people of the same age. They'd wave "bonjour"/"salut". They do shake hands or kiss older people.
French people give a pretty frank, strong and short hand shake ; if you want to show you are really happy to meet the person, you may cover the hand shake with your other hand. You look the person into the eyes as you shake hands.
What about "le baise main" (kissing the hand) ? That is VERY formal, and VERY old fashion. And only used in an extremely high "perched" social class. Rhetorically, the man is not even suppose to "kiss" the hand of the woman ; just bring it towards either his forehead, or barely touch it with his (closed) lips. I had it done to me once, and that was quite a surprise...
In any case, you don't have to act first ; just follow their lead. Be prepared to be kissed, it might happen, but it's most likely that people are going to just shake hands with you.